After a break..

What is the moment that you leave childhood and enter adulthood?

Interesting question. It feels as though a generalisation is required but that transition is subjective, isn’t it? A unique experience for each individual, maybe?

The application of reflective skills learned tells me that a more honest appraisal of my internal process may be that I don’t want to tell you, my audience, that my transition was painful and that detailing it here would serve no useful purpose. Telling you the process by which I arrive at that conclusion does, however, show something of what goes on during the counselling process, for me at least.

Sorry for the hiatus, by the way!

Big Learning Curve

I have just had my 2-month probationary period report at work. I was absolutely blown away with the content. The positive comments were in abundance; my “extensive knowledge” I have in the substance use field; my “natural and effective client contact”. It was truly incredible.
I’d had a rather challenging couple of weeks at work. I was struggling with the paperwork and the number of practices and procedures that tie in with working in a prison. I felt that this was starting to affect the time I spent with my clients and the skills I’d learnt at CATS felt like they were being pushed aside as I battled the admin requirements. This all changed when I read the report, it reminded me that I do this work for a reason. The fact that I have personal experience in a number of aspects and that I have a true passion to work in this field. It was such a relief to see that I had made a positive impression with my manager, colleagues and clients. It reminded me that I need to “give myself a break” once in a while and remember that I am only human!
I do still find this a stressful job in a challenging atmosphere. I am aware that I need to be mindful of my self-care at this time. I am in the process of setting up external supervision at the moment. I am fortunate that my employer will pay for two sessions a month. I can see that this will be invaluable to help me process what I hear during the day and help me in making the transition from work life to home. At the moment I’m aware that I sometimes find it hard to listen to the everyday conversations from my partner and daughters when I get home from work. I’m hoping that this is a skill I’ll learn with time!

20 years on…

What is your secret (or not-so-secret) passion?

That’s an easy one, as someone who spent a lot of time in the 90s playing records in clubs to appreciative crowds, house music is something that still moves me. Its one of the ways I relax after a difficult day in placement or if an essay is ‘stuck’. Very occasionally, I get to play out - http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=175299802551118 is coming up soon.

Self care is important in all the roles I adopt, I’m lucky to have access to, and the opportunity to entertain with, music that has brought so much joy over the last twenty years.

Personal development

Has anything traumatic ever happened to you? Describe the scenes surrounding a particular event.

These nablopomo prompts are making me think now. How can I relate a possibly traumatic event in my personal history to the audience while remaining within the context of this blog and its intended purpose to portray aspects of my life as a student?

There are three events I can bring to mind that I could possibly term as traumatic but were definitely life-changing and have had a direct influence on me becoming a student. One I’m not going to consider as it would breach my personal “do no harm” ethic. The other two involve my mother and its the last of these – her death – that added weight to the growing disquiet I had at the time with my then chosen career working in IT. At the time I was fifteen months sober and was making my amends, a part of this was to stop looking at the flaws I perceived in her (which were reflections of my own shortcomings, in reality) and accept her (and myself) as a whole and imperfect person. Although I didn’t realise it at the time, this reflective process laid the foundation of something that was to develop into empathic understanding (Rogers 1967 pp.304-311) and helped to lead me to where I am today.

Thanks, Mum!

References
Rogers, C. R. (1951) Client-Centered Counselling, Boston: Houghton-Mifflin.

Counting my blessings.

Making family time is important to me. How do you balance your children, relationship, and work life?

Reading today’s prompt put me into a reflective mood, as I had just been thinking about how I’d missed yesterday’s post because I was with my family – I’m not a full time father and so the time when I am in the company of my children belongs to them. Everything else goes on the back burner – even coursework! I’ve been blessed with a supportive girlfriend, an understanding ex-wife and the loveliest children I could hope for. So, for me I guess its not a question of balance – that’s never been my strong suit – more one of priorities. The children get a pretty heavy weighting, though!

Free writing #1 – Family time!

I think I mention this in the video but this course has had a major impact on the way I am with my family. This showed up *again* today where I had an opportunity to put the skills I’ve learned to good use with my daughter, calming her, finding out what was wrong and fixing it – all the while recognising what was going on for me and working to keep it out of the conversation.

Another example of how the course has changed how I am, not just what I do.

Pen or ‘Puter? Pick a preference!

When you are writing, do you prefer to use a pen or a computer? asks today’s NaBloPoMo question…

It depends if I want to get anything done or not! I love to write with a pen and have rediscovered that while on the course. If anyone had said to me when I was considering the degree that I’d regularly be up in front of a group of clients, scribbling away on a whiteboard or flipchart, making sense of ideas and themes, I’d have been horrified! As a die-hard computer using student who uses Evernote, Audacity and the camera on my phone to record the important bits of lectures, discovering that I’m at my happiest when doing things the old fashioned way has been a welcome surprise.

An essential part of the University experience?

Today’s NaBloPoMo prompt is “Can you listen to music and write? What song did you hear today?”

The simple answer is “yes” – music has played a big part in my life and it continues to permeate so much of what I do, including writing. Concentration comes easily when I’m listening to something like the Deep Field Transmissions stream from maschinengeist.org but it also allows an escape when all I have floating in my head is theories or dates or deadlines.

I wonder how many of the other students feel the same?

SSLC incoming…

I always look forward to the staff/student liaison committee meetings as I find they’re an excellent way to get a view of how the University works with our college on various issues. The first one of the year is special though, as there’s always a few teething troubles to air and we get to hear about what’s been changed in line with the recommendations or requests we made at the end of the last academic year. This time I’ll be handing over the office of chair to someone new as well, which will be nice as it’ll free me up to do a more thorough job of representing my cohort’s issues – both complimentary and critical.

Food, glorious food…

Today’s NaBloPoMo prompt is “If you knew that whatever you ate next would be your last meal, what would you want it to be?” Now, as some of the pictures on the wall of the common room at Warminster show, I’m not averse to the odd bit of food so this is a subject I could ruminate on for hours. Some of my best memories of the course have come from my experiences in the kitchen at CATS with the cohort and tutors socialising while we all try to sort our lunches out but two foods come to mind – Angelika’s frankly *awesome* gateau and Jess’ aga-baked sweet potato with lashings of butter and freshly ground salt and pepper. So, if I had to choose what to have for lunch on my last day at Uni, that would be it.

Scrumptious!