The New Year

Over the last few weeks I’ve had time to bed back in to the placement routine “properly” and as the assignment schedule has calmed down somewhat (nine submitted since October), I’ve had time to reflect and identify the differences in placement between this year and the previous two. The workload this year came as a shock – I’ve been flat out working up until two weeks ago but I know some of the students have been struggling while others have been cruising along. It sounds like there is a spectrum of experiences happening.

Surprisingly, the two “management” units (Managing Performance and Managing Recruitment/Selection) have contributed a lot more to my placement than I anticipated. Prompted by their view of the organisation as a whole, I’ve been looking at workflows and procedures that I use as a counsellor to see where I can work “smarter” rather than just harder – as we’re all expected to do more for less in the current economic climate with more cutbacks to come. I also feel like my prior skills are being made use of, I have an aptitude and experience for computer based things so I’m being trained in new aspects (to me) of the client management system in order to write documentation.

Studies-wise, all the counselling skills training is being used to – I hope – good effect. I may have mentioned this before but being able to use MI in a strategic way sits better with my personal ethical viewpoint and the third year unit updated us on some of the newer thinking in the field. I hope that the upcoming CBT module is as informative!

Tags: counselling skills

2011 Graduation

I’ve spent a bit of time reflecting on the ceremony and all the hubbub that surrounded it because it was a hectic day and took a while to process.

For me, and I suspect a lot of the cohort, it was a day for family. If their experience has been anything like mine, having the support of those around me facilitated the learning process and in my case gave me active and on-going encourgement. Looking around at the proud faces of parents, partners, siblings, children and everyone else in the beautiful Ball Room was an uplifting and emotional experience. It was good to see the staff that could make it – including Carol who had helped us during the SFE meltdown back at the start of year one – enjoying the day as well.

So this felt like it was a day for all of us and being back together with everyone who had decided to end their studies with the Foundation Degree was great – there was a lot of catching up to be done! The range of courses available to prospective students was a bit of an eye-opener also – many subjects in fields just as specific as Addictions Counselling have been opened up for academic study and seeing those graduands rewarded was gratifying.

I want to say a bit more about the venue, The Assembly Rooms, which were taken over for the day by the University. Beautiful doesn’t begin to describe them. Built in 1771, there is a sense of history about the building that gave me a different perspective on my place within the University, and our place in Bath on this special day. I guess we might have a significant role to play in the lives of those we come into professional and personal contact with, but in terms of the University and the broader context of Bath maybe not so much.

Of course the celebrations didn’t stop there – as a cohort some of us went out a little later in the week for a meal which was a little less formal!

Tags: addictions counselling, foundation degree

Difficulties

There are some parts of work in placement that I find difficult. Yesterday I had to do something I found positively distasteful, I won’t discuss what it was here as it would be unprofessional to do so but I just wanted to share that on occasion, this role isn’t a bed of roses and as counsellors and members of a team we all have to do stuff that hurts us.

I wish it wasn’t that way, and I’m working as best I can to change the things I can – a little wisdom would be useful right about now, though!

A pause

Time to draw breath…

The return of my cohorts’ first mark of the Honours year is a mental milestone that has allowed me to slow down and take stock of what’s different for me this time around. Firstly, being ‘qualified’ has helped, as I integrate myself back into the team in placement and become confident, I know I can walk away from these studies and attempt to find a job should the need arise – a huge safety net! The second is the mark itself which was well within my usual range – but not as high as I would have liked. This gives me something to aim for as I feel comfortable with it, but not secure. The biggest benefit is that it is has given me the leeway to frame my thinking as “how can I improve?” not ”where did I go wrong?”

There’s been a nagging thought at the back of my mind for a while now (okay, a year) – when this all finishes, how am I going to give up this relentless quest for knowledge and understanding?

Exhale, open up the subject paper of the critical analysis essay, dive in…

Onwards

Another week under my belt & a new one beginning. I’ve realised over the past few days that the shock of working in the prison environment is subsiding. It’s really surprised me how long it has taken. Maybe I really am getting old! There’s been part of me almost fighting the idea of accepting this new work arena, maybe it’s the ageing hippy in me shouting “you’re in the bowels of the establishment now!”, a part of my soul that it doesn’t quite sit right with. And to keep an awareness of this felling is probably no bad thing. I never want to become desensitised to the prison, I don’t want to forget that I am surrounded by people who have lost their liberty as a punishment. That not only are a lot of them in extreme distress about this but that they are experiencing new types of punishment on a regular basis from other prisoners, from some officers and from themselves.
Life inside the prison is an unnatural environment but it also feels to me like a little world within a bubble. Sometimes even the weather seems different. As I pass through the high concrete wall & the barbed-wire topped chain link fence the sun often disappears, to be replaced by “Tupperware” sky.

I’ve been fortunate enough to have received some positive feedback in the last few days. Not from my managers this time but from my clients. Not one, but five clients have thanked me for the time I’ve spent with them. Two of them have said that I’m the first practitioner they’ve worked with that has enabled them to see recovery as a possibility in their lives. I can’t begin to explain how deeply I felt these words of appreciation. I drove home on those days thinking to myself that the long-ago words of my heroin-ravaged self:

“I’d like to be a drug counsellor one day & if I help just one person to decide to not score on one day. To not go to the depths that my addiction has taken me, then I’d feel that I’d done my job.”

I think that day might have come.

I like simple questions

What is the happiest moment of your life thus far?

Dead easy. My daughter was born six weeks early and I was told that her lungs might not be developed to the point where she could breathe. Imagine my joy when I heard her extremely disgruntled squawk as the nursing team cleared her mouth and nose.

Nine years down the track and she still has a temper!

I thought I’d reflect on how my daughter affects my life as a member of the student cohort and my development as a counsellor. Having seen some of the original year one cohort suspend their studies or completely remove themselves from the course because of family commitments, I’m reminded of how lucky I am to have had the support of mine throughout the last two and a bit years. Both my children give me endless opportunities to practice the spirit and techniques of MI as well as the invaluable lesson about families being a homeostatic unit.

After a break..

What is the moment that you leave childhood and enter adulthood?

Interesting question. It feels as though a generalisation is required but that transition is subjective, isn’t it? A unique experience for each individual, maybe?

The application of reflective skills learned tells me that a more honest appraisal of my internal process may be that I don’t want to tell you, my audience, that my transition was painful and that detailing it here would serve no useful purpose. Telling you the process by which I arrive at that conclusion does, however, show something of what goes on during the counselling process, for me at least.

Sorry for the hiatus, by the way!

Big Learning Curve

I have just had my 2-month probationary period report at work. I was absolutely blown away with the content. The positive comments were in abundance; my “extensive knowledge” I have in the substance use field; my “natural and effective client contact”. It was truly incredible.
I’d had a rather challenging couple of weeks at work. I was struggling with the paperwork and the number of practices and procedures that tie in with working in a prison. I felt that this was starting to affect the time I spent with my clients and the skills I’d learnt at CATS felt like they were being pushed aside as I battled the admin requirements. This all changed when I read the report, it reminded me that I do this work for a reason. The fact that I have personal experience in a number of aspects and that I have a true passion to work in this field. It was such a relief to see that I had made a positive impression with my manager, colleagues and clients. It reminded me that I need to “give myself a break” once in a while and remember that I am only human!
I do still find this a stressful job in a challenging atmosphere. I am aware that I need to be mindful of my self-care at this time. I am in the process of setting up external supervision at the moment. I am fortunate that my employer will pay for two sessions a month. I can see that this will be invaluable to help me process what I hear during the day and help me in making the transition from work life to home. At the moment I’m aware that I sometimes find it hard to listen to the everyday conversations from my partner and daughters when I get home from work. I’m hoping that this is a skill I’ll learn with time!

20 years on…

What is your secret (or not-so-secret) passion?

That’s an easy one, as someone who spent a lot of time in the 90s playing records in clubs to appreciative crowds, house music is something that still moves me. Its one of the ways I relax after a difficult day in placement or if an essay is ‘stuck’. Very occasionally, I get to play out - http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=175299802551118 is coming up soon.

Self care is important in all the roles I adopt, I’m lucky to have access to, and the opportunity to entertain with, music that has brought so much joy over the last twenty years.

Personal development

Has anything traumatic ever happened to you? Describe the scenes surrounding a particular event.

These nablopomo prompts are making me think now. How can I relate a possibly traumatic event in my personal history to the audience while remaining within the context of this blog and its intended purpose to portray aspects of my life as a student?

There are three events I can bring to mind that I could possibly term as traumatic but were definitely life-changing and have had a direct influence on me becoming a student. One I’m not going to consider as it would breach my personal “do no harm” ethic. The other two involve my mother and its the last of these – her death – that added weight to the growing disquiet I had at the time with my then chosen career working in IT. At the time I was fifteen months sober and was making my amends, a part of this was to stop looking at the flaws I perceived in her (which were reflections of my own shortcomings, in reality) and accept her (and myself) as a whole and imperfect person. Although I didn’t realise it at the time, this reflective process laid the foundation of something that was to develop into empathic understanding (Rogers 1967 pp.304-311) and helped to lead me to where I am today.

Thanks, Mum!

References
Rogers, C. R. (1951) Client-Centered Counselling, Boston: Houghton-Mifflin.